Boom
by vericus
Summary: In which Wheeljack arrives on earth and finds a kindred spirit among the indigenous life forms. Pure fun. Twoshot. I'm serious! Only these two chapters!
1. Boom

**Author's Note:** Is it bad that this came to me while I was at work? Heh. Anyways, it's just a short little snippet. The last line said to Starscream was what inspired the whole thing...

**- Boom -**

To say Wheeljack was surprised when Ironhide suddenly ripped off the doors to the cell would have been an understatement. He'd arrived on earth not a week and a half ago, and wasn't even sure if Optimus Prime and the others had gotten his message notifying them of his arrival, when the Decepticons had ambushed and captured him. So he hadn't even been sure that the other Autobots knew he was on the planet, let alone that the Decepticons had taken him, or where they had taken him to.

There was also the unpleasant fact that apparently some of the indigenous life forms were actually _helping_ the Decepticons, as Wheeljack had seen one wandering freely around the base, talking to various Decepticons. This 'human', female if Wheeljack was correct, was also wearing what appeared to be some type of uniform, and had spoken as if she was involved in some sort of military organization. All in all, it wasn't a good situation, and Wheeljack had all but given up hope of being found, except by accident, after the first week of his imprisonment.

Of course, it was three days later when he started hearing the sounds of explosions, and shortly after that, the doors to his cell were ripped off, and Ironhide gruffly told him to stop gaping and start moving. Wheeljack did as ordered, scrambling out of the cell and into the battlefield of the Decepticon base. Ironhide led him through corridors quickly, and Wheeljack saw that as they went, the Autobots fighting in the corridors fell back, coming with them.

"Oi, Ironhide!" the human voice was a startling difference in the chaos, and Wheeljack's head snapped towards the source, surprised to see the human military woman waving furiously at Ironhide. The weapons specialist, barely pausing, scooped her up and deposited her on Wheeljack's shoulder.

"Stay with him." Ironhide said, then went back to shooting Decepticons as they retreated.

"Weren't you -" Wheeljack tried to ask the woman as they retreated, but she cut them off with a quick 'No.' "But I thought -"

"Wrong."

"How did -"

"Later." Wheeljack stopped trying to ask questions out of annoyance and concentrated on retreating, grateful when sunlight came into view a few minutes later. He hurried out of the base, with the other Autobots that had participated in his rescue close behind. Outside of the base, it was fairly calm, with most of the battle having taken place inside, so Wheeljack had little trouble making his way over to where Prime was waiting, directing the fight. Wheeljack barely had time to say 'Hi', however, before screaming jet engines announced the arrival of Starscream.

"Prime...how nice of you to visit." it was easy to see Starscream was livid as he watched Autobots pour out of his base with little resistance from Decepticons. Actually, was it Wheeljack's imagination, or were the Autobots moving a little...quickly for a retreat?

"It was the least we could do after the hospitality you showed Wheeljack, Starscream." Prime replied affably.

"And me." the human put in from Wheeljack's shoulder, and he silently groaned as Starscream's attention turned to him.

"So - you _did _betray us. I knew you weren't to be trusted." the jet sneered.

"Yeah, but what you didn't know is that I'm a demolitions expert." the woman on Wheeljack's shoulder said with a smirk.

"What?" Starscream asked, tilting his head to one side.

"Boom." the woman said solemnly, and directly after she said that...the Decepticon base blew up. Even as he moved to protect the human woman from the massive explosion, Wheeljack could hear her cackling.

When the sounds died and the dust cleared, Starscream staggered to his feet, roared in anger, and dove for Wheeljack, only to get knocked to the side by Prime. The jet snarled, getting back to his feet, but as the rest of the Autobots began recovering from the explosion and getting to their feet, Starscream wisely decided to retreat. The few Decepticons that had managed to make it out of the base followed as best they could.

"I'd say...7.5." the human woman said thoughtfully from Wheeljack's hand as she peeked out and surveyed the damage.

"What?" Wheeljack asked in surprise.

"The explosion." the woman replied reasonably. "It was all function, no style, but it _was _rather big, and it did have the desired affect, so, I rate it a 7.5." Wheeljack stared at her in surprise for a moment, then looked consideringly at the remains of the Decepticon base.

"Actually, I'd say 8.0." he replied finally. "Because you blew up Decepticons."

"Well, true." the woman mused.

"Oh Primus! 'Hide, get her away from him, quick!" Ratchet groaned.

**- Finis -**


	2. A Beautiful Friendship

**Author's Note: **Because VAwitch mentioned 'Jack blowing up himself and his friends. And it occurred to me that I don't think I've ever read anywhere about Optimus getting caught in one of Wheeljack's explosions.

**- Boom, Supplemental -**

Wheeljack's awareness came back to him slowly, his various processes and sensors coming online one by one, his optics the last thing to activate. He found himself staring at an upside-down human, who was apparently either standing on, or very near, the top of his helm as she peered into his face.

"2.0." she said as soon as it was clear that Wheeljack was conscious.

"What?! But it was _purple!_" Wheeljack protested.

"Well yes. A very nice shade of purple. It also ballooned nicely out into the hall, and never really got hot enough to melt anything in your lab, even though it had some massive concussive force behind it." the woman admitted. "However, you got caught in it. Thus, 2.0."

"Didn't I expressly forbid you two from rating explosions while in my med bay?" Ratchet suddenly hissed, appearing beside Wheeljack, and the woman found herself unceremoniously picked up and expelled from said med bay. Ratchet then turned his optics to Wheeljack, who flinched visibly.

"I didn't think it would explode..." he offered feebly.

---

Optimus was heading up to the base when he heard what sounded like a loud argument off to his left. Curious, as one of the arguing voices was female, and the other quite obviously a mech, he changed direction, heading around the side of the building. He barely had time to register Wheeljack and the human demolitions expert crouched behind what looked like a steel wall before something exploded about twenty meters away. Wheeljack and the woman were protected from the blast by their steel wall, but poor Optimus took the full concussive force of the blast, along with the mild heat and, strangely, clouds of white smoke.

When the dust settled, and he'd wiped said dust away from his optics, Optimus found himself staring up at the blue sky. Silently, he sat up, giving himself a visual check for damage, and found that while he wasn't hurt any more than he would have been if he'd tripped and fallen (not that he ever did such a thing), he was, oddly, completely covered in fine white dust, which clung to his armour and what parts of his insides it could get to as if it were magnetic. Frowning, he looked up towards Wheeljack and the human, who were staring at him wide-eyed.

"Dude." the woman said, turning to Wheeljack. "Negative 10.0 for turning Prime into a freaking _ghost!"_ Wheeljack looked horrified, and Optimus covered his optics with one hand as he sighed.


End file.
